Confession of the One Who Loves Less

They say in the face of true love you don’t give up, well, according to Chuck Bass that is. What a misleading statement that is, Mr. Bass.

There are times when one needs to give up, even on what is so called true love. I mean, at some point, Chuck and Blair had to go their separate ways, didn’t they? They were on their own until they were ready to find each other again.

I used to think it was the most romantic thing ever. To think that someday, the one who claimed to love me would find his way back to me.

So much for bullshit.

Then, everyone is different. Nobody is as tough as Chuck and Blair are. Not everyone is as loyal and passionate. Not everyone is as noble and patient. And at the same time, nobody is as twisted and manipulative.

And don’t expect anyone to be. Not even from yourself. Because disappointment is the easiest thing to find. You’ll meet disappointment everywhere you go, and you simply can’t ignore it when it’s hit you.

What I’ve learned is that I am not Blair. I don’t wait. I don’t hope for my Chuck to come find me.

I run the other way.

Because I’ve given up.

Of course, they’d say, you’d never know if you didn’t try. But in the end, your true love will end up being yourself.

So run. Run the other way and don’t look back.

Don’t wait for your Chuck Bass, because chances are he doesn’t exist. Don’t wait for your Blair Waldorf, because she’s probably going to be just like the real character, married to a fake prince and in love with a friend. Don’t wait until all her options run out and you’re the last one standing.

Don’t wait to be the last place she runs to.

Don’t wait to be the first person a Chuck complains to.

Save your heart from a lot of pain and run the other way. Save yourself, and don’t trust a momentary spark of “I can do this.” Because in the end, you know you won’t be able to do it. And you’ll look back at the time you were so sure of your decision and ask, “What was I thinking?”

Exactly. What were you thinking?

If you don’t think you can look after yourself well enough, don’t even promise anyone else anything. You need to love yourself first before you can claim to take care of someone else.

If you love yourself less, don’t bother and try to promise your heart to another.

What if you ignore your own needs and heart because you’re trying so hard to please someone else’s? And you lead an ugly fated relationship that is unrequited in many ways, and you end up wondering, “Does this person not love me as much?”

Of course that’s not the case. But if you’ve loved yourself enough in the beginning, you won’t be hurting yourself when someone else is in the equation. You won’t be expecting the other person to love you for you.

Love yourself first. Love yourself enough to stay away from Blair Chuck story, to know what you deserve, and to know an end when you see it.

But then again, we are just weak creatures longing for more. Longing for things we can’t afford and shouldn’t desire.

So good luck. To you, and to me too.

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