Moments like this tick by. They annoy me like an overly crowded Forever 21 on a Black Friday.
The moments when someone would say, “Do this if you want to find a man.”
Men aren’t hard to find. They’re everywhere. Why do people have to say it as if men are going extinct? When they are in fact, together with women, overpopulating my world.
But that, my friend, is not why these moments annoy me so much.
It is yet the again striking reminder that I am not good enough. That I have to change for someone to take a liking into me.
That I should grow my hair longer, wax my arms, wear pretty dresses, and learn how to properly put on makeup to be considered ‘acceptable.’ That I should talk less, nod more, and keep my opinions to myself to not intimidate anyone.
But isn’t that merely a perspective?
Who decided to set the standard? Who decided how an ideal woman should look like and make sure that everyone else in the world will see the same? Who says a woman should not instill fear in men?
And personally, to those who take the time in the day to tell me how to be a woman, who died and made you gods?
I certainly did not.
There is nothing wrong in being tough, being strong and oftentimes stubborn. There is nothing wrong in not following the rest of the world. A discovery, an invention, or an idea doesn’t come to people who blindly follow the rules and do what everyone tells them to.
It comes to those who dare. Who challenge. Who ask questions.
And answers may vary. Answers can be anything. It depends on who answers your questions – and whatever the answer is, it is your choice to take or leave it. Because this is the world so full of possibilities, so constant with changes, that anything is possible.
That a girl with hairy arms and daring personality can be seen as beautiful to many. Not one, not two, but many people.
And she will not change, nor pull a single hair on her arms to please you. You, out of seven billion souls out there, are so small.
Love might change you, but it takes real love to first accept you for who you are before you can see it in yourself if you want to transform or change. Love is no bargain. It is not conditional.
Let changes be the reward, not the deposit.
Thus, this is my letter to every girl out there who is constantly reminded by people who cannot appreciate true beauty, that you may have to change yourself. That you are not skinny enough, or not glamorous enough, or that maybe you are told to wear less makeup, to wear outfits you aren’t comfortable in wearing. That you should not be yourself in order for someone to see a life partner figure in you.
Let the moments tick. Let them annoy the hell out of you.
And let them annoy those who whisper cruel doubts into your mind and heart, let those moments serve as a cold slap to them who think you are not good enough.
That they can try as many times as they want, and that you can take the pain every time and come out unscathed. Because you know that there is no gain without pain.
Know that you are beautiful.