Pathological Liar: the Signs

by Devina Gunawan

I grew up with a pathological liar best friend, and I thought it’d be good to share this. It is unbearable to date one, and hopefully this list will help anyone of you who happens to be interested in one. Here are some things I’ve noticed that my best friend does:

  1. We never get to meet people whom he talks about (for instance, if he mentions having a brother, we never get to meet this brother). Once, all we ever got from interacting with his girlfriend was a hotmail chat, and that was not even real.
  2. He can disappear for a very long time and doesn’t come back until he has to retrieve something or use us for something.
  3. His facts are never straight, they are always different stories told to different people, and usually these people do not know each other; possibly to prevent them from talking and figuring out the lies.
  4. There are always these boundaries. It is hard for him to open up because he’s got a hell lot of secrets to keep.
  5. Chances are, he is very tight in a certain community and has established a reputation. Usually, when he leaves this community, he feels lost because then he has to start over again building his kingdom of lies.
  6. Another possibility is that there are at least two romantic relationships in his life; he likes the thrill of hiding and being found out.
  7. Things that he claims to be his more often than not turn out to be someone else’s. He borrows things and acts as if he owns them, but the truth is far from what it seems.
  8. He keeps distance from certain groups of people. Because probably, they are prone to judging him and he doesn’t like it.
  9. When his secrets are up in the air, he will contact everyone he knows to make up cover stories. There will be people to be blamed and he will come out looking like the victim or the hero of whatever made up stories he’s created.
  10. There is that one particular person who becomes hated and if we trace back the history, it all goes back to our lying friend.
  11. He seems like the nicest person and can’t do anything wrong.
  12. We will taste what he calls “confession”, made of stories of sinful acts and wrongdoings, so that we will think that he trusts us; thus, it leads to us trusting him. However, the “confession” is nothing but a bunch of stories he’s filed up to win our trust.
  13. If someone asks questions like “Is that car yours?” or “Is that your girlfriend?” his answers are always going around in a circle. You won’t get a straight, “Yes” or “No.” Instead, you will get something so off like, “Hard work pays off,” or, “Jealous because you don’t have a woman?”
  14. After a breakup, he will look like the victim and yet he will have moved onto another lady.
  15. For no reason whatsoever, his ex is always the crazy one. But he will make sure that none of his friends speak to his ex because, well, he needs to cover his mistakes up.
  16. He does not say things straightforwardly or directly, a recorded conversation is his worst nightmare, and he will word everything as vaguely as possible to avoid future accusation.
  17. His social media profile is very mysterious, or is just very clean. He makes sure nobody can use anything against him.
  18. When he lies, you believe him. Because he actually believes in his own lies. He has created a reality in which his lies are the truths and the truths aren’t real.
  19. Some of the things that he talks about are extreme, or out of the world. Some of the things in his life sound a lot like drama. And you can’t put a finger on it; you can just tell that something is off.
  20. He always seems worried about something when he knows people are talking about him. There is that fear of having people find out about the lies. And you will know it because he will start rambling nonsense and point his finger at a certain someone to blame.
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