Bad Songs: Insecurity and Jealousy

by Devina Gunawan

“Are you insecure?”

There was a girl who was bullied and rejected by her classmates. She grew to hate school, threw up every morning before leaving home, and became very quiet despite having a lot of things to say.

They all hated her because when they were struggling in Algebra, she got perfect scores.

There was a boy whom nobody wanted to talk to. His friends ignored him when he started talking, and popular students called him names.

They disliked him for always being every teacher’s favorite.

There was a young lady who got locked up in the workplace bathroom. She would come home with deep cuts on her arms that her ‘friends’ would give her. They called her ugly and unworthy everyday, convincing her of a false identity she wasn’t suited for.

They detested her for being naturally beautiful.

Jealousy is loud. Jealousy is the unwanted friend who keeps on whispering in your ears and feeding your dark side.

It manipulates people into many things. Someone might feel threatened by others who possess qualities he or she has always wished to have. Someone might feel the need to ‘protect’ him or herself. Someone might come to hate strangers or even those who are close to them.

For nothing.

Because when you try to put that pretty girl down, you are not making yourself any prettier. When you are isolating that genius in the corner, you are not getting any smarter.

There will always be someone with better qualities. But one better quality does not make one a better person, unless you degrade yourself into a pathetic, jealous soul.

But insecurities do not play games lightly. Insecurity goes hand in hand with jealousy, and together they can lead you to the darkness. They can blind you of what is rational, and give you the worst image of yourself.

Everyone has got different stories. There is always something to be jealous of. There is always something we want that other people have. There are always people who are gifted and talented, and we will feel the weight of the world when we work days and nights to achieve what they can do in an hour.

But there is always beauty in everything. There is always the beauty and there is always the beast. And in every place, they are not always the same. You might be the smartest in one room until you walk into another room. A beauty might be a beast in different places of different beauty standards.

Those qualities that people often compare are not consistent, according to whose perspectives they are in.

One thing, however, is what I find most consistent, and it is the way we treat ourselves and how we owe acceptance to ourselves.

Everything comes back to us. When we are envious of others, we are telling ourselves that we are not enough. When we want what others have, we are ungrateful for what we have.

And the only person who can change that mindset is the owner of the heart and the mind. The only one who can give us the security we need, is ourselves.

We should love ourselves first. We should appreciate our beautiful and ugly sides, and accept ourselves the way we are. Then we can learn to accept others for what they are, and love them too.

That is something we can control. It is something that we have the power over.

Because remember, we are strong. Stronger than an ugly song called Jealousy. Stronger than a loud force called Insecurity. And don’t fall for their tricks and charms, because you will lose more than you think if you keep on listening to them.

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