Fantastic Bore: 2 Guys, 1 Girl, the Thing, and Doom

by Devina Gunawan

Nobody seems to care about making great movies anymore. So instead of spending few bucks on a wonderful, mind blowing movie, we spent few bucks to confirm all the reviews that told us that, “Yes, this is truly a bad movie.”

Some time last week, Daniella had posted about her fun twist on the movie. To be honest, during the whole movie, I was hoping that her twist would miraculously happen. Like, I suddenly got teleported to another dimension in which this movie did not suck.

My sister is a fan of Miles Teller, so she was excited to see his face. And I am sure that I can reassure you that she probably enjoyed only the fact that he starred in that movie. So that it would not feel like a stupid decision to spend few bucks over.

This reboot of Fantastic Four was a failure, by large margin in comparison to the original F4 movies. It made the older movies look so good. My sister left the theatre saying, “I will have to rewatch the original Fantastic Four.”

So the movie started with Reed, a creepy scientist kid who wanted to be the first man who performed teleportation, becoming friends with a classmate Ben. Seven years later, they got disqualified from a high school science fair because they blew up their first show. However, scientist Storm and his daughter were impressed with Reed’s machine and gave him full scholarship.

Remember Jessica Alba’s first entrance in first movie? She was so stunning as Sue Storm. Well, Mara is a beautiful girl, and everyone knows it. However, her entrance as Sue was nothing memorable. And she looked bored most of the time during the movie.

So Dr. Storm brought together his son, the thrill seeker Johnny, a long lost student Victor, to help Reed and Sue, his daughter, in building the teleport machine. The goal was to get to and study the other dimension.

Long story short, the team succeeded. NASA wanted them after watching the successful demonstration.

Unwilling to let other people be the Neil Armstrong to their machine, the boys, without Sue, got drunk and decided to teleport themselves using the machine. Reed invited Ben to join them, since he started the machine with him, and the four boys went to the other dimension.

There, things got from bad to ugly. They lost Victor, and they brought an explosion back home to Sue, getting fair share of disaster in their DNA. Afterwards, they became subjects to military experiments and after getting Victor back, heroes for saving the world from total destruction.

It was so bad it was entertaining. So many things were missing from this reboot that I believe would have boosted the ratings if only they were present.

Firstly, there was no relationship that was explored or even explained. Audience questioned many things, like: “What happened between Sue and Victor?” “Why aren’t Sue and Johnny in good terms?” “Why didn’t any of the Storm kids look broken after their dad just died?” “How is it that Ben hated Reed for a year and when things got ugly, returned to the Reed calling, hopeless Ben that he had been before?” And everything was foggy.

There was no background story to each character. There was no emotional attachment to the characters.The actors looked as if they were bored during the filming. And to be honest, I was all in when Victor said, “There is just Doom.”

Yes. Doom.

The writers probably lost interest midway. It was as if, “Hey we already started this, let’s just get it over with and finish it.”

We tried connecting the dots, but the dots were all over the place that we could no longer connect anything. The chronology of whatever happened in each scene stopped making sense after they found Victor.

And there were just so many missing points from Fantastic Four that the whole time I was watching it, I was praying that I could just go home and watch the original movies instead.

fantastic4orig

It would have been so much more interesting if Daniella had written the movie instead. She would have brought in twists that could save the movie. Instead, this movie fell flat on Reed Richard’s rubber face and into boredom.

I give this movie, perhaps a more generous rating than Rotten Tomatoes’ 8%, a 3 out of 10.

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