by Devina Gunawan
Someone said, “Must be nice to be naturally pretty. You must have abused it, even when you don’t admit it, sometimes.”
To which, I did not know how to respond.
I do not think that women do this, to be honest, because even though we wear the armor of confidence, a lot of us are very much aware that there are always prettier ones out there.
We might have the confidence to walk as if there are soldiers walking behind us, but I do not believe that we have enough confidence to abuse our looks. Some might, but I believe in the goodness of everyone, and that we know better.
I read this quote and painted a poster out of it, so that I could put it up in my room as a reminder:
“Pretty can turn heads, Beauty can change the world.
Pretty is what you are, Beauty is what you do with it.
Pretty is a fact, Beauty is a force.”
Being pretty doesn’t mean much. It’s only your looks. There are plenty of times when we meet a pretty girl and the charm lasts for only about two minutes. That is, until she starts talking and reveals the person underneath the perfect complexion.
Beauty, however, is more than just how you look. And I thought of someone right away when I spotted that quote.
There was this girl I knew in high school. She was pretty. But it wasn’t what made everyone admire her, it was her beauty.
She always smiled at everyone, was always very kind and patient. She was sincere and loving, and she never pretended to be anyone else.
She wore no make up and dressed simply. Yet her heart, her kindness, and her smile always brightened up the whole room.
A lot of people would notice that she was not the prettiest girl to look at, but they would not be able to stop staring at her. The other girls might be prettier, but no one was as beautiful. She had such warmth and glow, and that was real beauty.
Even to this day many of us would check her photos on Facebook and say, not “How pretty,” but always, “What a beautiful woman.” Also, her son is one of the cutest babies out there, so that is another reason to check her profile.
So I would understand that some girls would assume that pretty girls had it easy. I won’t lie and tell you that it isn’t true. Because sometimes, we do have it easier than most. Free drinks, coffee on the house, discounts, many dates, and there are just a lot of things that come to you when you are pretty.
But that is the surface.
And we know it too. We know that when we are given something because we are pretty, it means nothing. It doesn’t mean that we truly deserve it. And chances are, we don’t.
And being pretty doesn’t guarantee that we always get dates. Sometimes it does, only to people who only date for the looks. But the real keepers, the men or women who are looking for life partners, ‘pretty’ means very little.
So yes, it is nice sometimes to be pretty. But you don’t know if someone is with you only for your looks or for who you truly are. You don’t know if someone looks at you with admiration because you are pleasing to look at or because you are a gem. You don’t know if you receive something because you earn it or because your looks charm people.
And it makes it harder to define yourself. That instead of having people see that you are fighting for your life, people assume that you abuse your genes in order to get what you want.
But those of you who have it ‘easy’ because of your looks, be happy. Not everyone is blessed with what you have. Nothing is truly good or bad. And just as it is difficult for you to prove yourself as more than just a pretty face, it is difficult for those who don’t think they’re pretty enough to mark their grounds.