Expectations on Me. Expectations on You.

by Devina Gunawan

Why do people find it difficult to let go of expectations? It is as if expectations are the ultimate guides to life, in how to behave, how to love, how to live, etc.

They aren’t. They are just simply standards we set up for people we keep in our lives. They are the rules in which we believe, “this is how it should be.”

Anyone thinking of Cinderella, “Just because it’s what’s done, doesn’t mean it’s what should be done”?

Because I am.

I have clocked out of the world ever since it tips me off my balance. Ever since I had realized that the social norms make life so much more complicated, especially for people like me. People who like running around in their own worlds. The idealists, the artists, the dreamers.

Just as the world expects me to be like everyone else, I rebel. And I question. Over and over again.

Am I supposed to fit in and do what everyone else is doing? Or am I just expected to listen to my parents’s words of “We just want you to be happy”?

Which one is correct? And why do I have to follow things that make me unhappy while trying to find my happiest state? How does that work? Why do I have to act like a proper lady and marry in my mid twenties and have children?

Why is it a must? And what happens if I do not fulfill it and everything else expected of me? What will happen to me?

“Family will be so ashamed.”

Is it true? Or is it what they think and believe they will be if I do not meet what society expects of me?

Or am I just expecting too much understanding from society? Or even better, perhaps people I care about are misled into thinking that society cares about what we do and say. Because in the end, we die alone. We come to life, live, and die without others.

That should not be forgotten.

Just because it is what’s done, doesn’t mean that it should done. Or am I wrong?

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7 thoughts on “Expectations on Me. Expectations on You.

  1. Hey Devina! I started following you recently and I love your writing! This article has pretty much summed up my thoughts. I guess we do live for others to some extent. To make some people happy and to not offend the others! But as I grew older, I have also realised that I regret not doing the things I wanted to, in the fear of what people would say or how they would look at my parents and family. I think at some point its important to be a rebel and do what u truly desire to do. Keep writing love your work:)

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    • Hi Swati! Thank you so much it means a lot 🙂 Yes! I am also glad it spoke to you. I figured a lot of us are little rebels with big hearts; a lot of us don’t want to hurt those who matter, but at the same time desire freedom. I’m glad you can relate 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You’re absolutely spot on! Sadly, we live with the mindset of following the herd, and rarely are we encouraged to think for ourselves and question what is in front of us. We live in society where we are told to be amongst the crowd, and yet what may work for one, does not fall in line with our goals or beliefs. Life is a constant struggle. Keep your head up and keep powering through!

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  3. Love this post. I wonder so much of this too. And a lot of the time I do give in to those expectations. But sometimes I don’t and it’s great. I just don’t know if it’s worth the hurt it causes my family and those around me. Perhaps it is, but I haven’t figured that out yet.

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    • Thank you!! Glad you enjoyed it 🙂 Yes, it is definitely a struggle. We are all trying to find the balance between finding our happiness and not even making happy, but simply not hurting those we love. I hope we will all find it 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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