by Devina Gunawan
I remember the first time I saw her, and my heart skipped a beat. I remember feeling so much for someone I was not supposed to feel that way to.
I remember them telling me, “You have to stop.”
I remember crying at night, wondering what was wrong with me. What was wrong with a simple thing we called love?
I remember sitting at a table where the discussion was about how ‘dangerous’ the ‘gay group’ was, and I remember being the most silenced I had ever been.
“Do not tell people what you are. People would judge.”
I remember having my ‘friends’ tell me to be careful. “Especially the bisexuals. Be careful with them. You can’t tell them apart from the rest.” I remember feeling as if someone has stabbed me with a dagger and twisted it in.
I remember how I stopped talking to my so-called-friends.
You might not remember, but I remember.
And it might not be a big deal for you. It might just be another stupid rebellion in your eyes.
But today matters. Today I can proudly tell the world that I have the right to love anyone. That I can be with anyone I want to be with.
For those who grew up in shame, in dark secrets and closed doors, those who understand how hard it is to be judged left and right. To have people tell you it is wrong to ‘love’ and to be yourself.
Today is your day. And mine.
And to be honest, this day belongs to everyone who believes in the magic of love.
Because it is magical, and wonderful. And I can barely feel the pain of those days of hiding who I really am. Today is a revolution, and a step away from those painful memories.